by Old Bone Machine
Self-loathing. I didn’t ride today and I am now anxious and on edge. I know the rest day is needed. The body heals, replenishes itself, and because of this I become stronger. It’s restorative. Yet all I feel is this self-loathing.
I want my children to ride because I am a rider. I want them to know there is freedom and joy when we ride. Then too I do not want them to ride because I am a rider and because I know our pursuit is inherently dangerous. It is a balancing act, a magic trick, and on the road there is so much that is out of our hands.
I am 47. How long will the body stay strong? I don’t want the ride to end.